The Secret Ingredient to Attracting Others

by JeremyMorgan


The Secret Ingredient
Do you know one of those people who "just has it"? You know the type, they can be a guy or a girl who is very average looking, not rich or famous, yet always seems to have the attention of the opposite sex. Do you know what they have that others don't? Confidence. As we all know, confidence is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
So how do you increase your own confidence? It's very simple actually. First off, you need to love yourself. If you don't love yourself, how do you expect others to love you? Change your attitude today, as in right now. Instead of bombarding your head with negative thoughts, start thinking positively. Every time a negative thought pops in your head, banish it immediately. Start thinking about all the positive qualities you have.

A fast way to improve confidence.
As an excersize, take a pen and paper and write down all the positive things about yourself. Come up with as much as you can. Are you nice? Are you attractive, smart, or funny? Anything you can think of that anyone has ever complimented you on, write it down. Even if you don't agree with them. Come up with list of great things, and keep it in your purse, or on the nightstand. Add to it whenever something comes to mind. Every day, read it to yourself at least once. Read this list until you are absolutely sick of reading it.
Soon, you'll have that list memorized, and you won't even need to look at it to know what it says. And you know what else? Your subconcious will have it memorized as well. Studies have proven the power of the subconcious mind, and it's vast potential for self improvement. By telling yourself these positive things every day, you'll notice a difference rather quick.

Be proud of yourself.
The next step is giving yourself something to be proud of. What are you good at? What do you like to do? No matter what it is, anything from snowboarding to knitting, think about ways you can make yourself better at it. Set goals, preferably small goals, and focus on achieving them. If you play the guitar, set out to learn a song and learn it. Improve upon these skills constantly until you've mastered it.
You might be asking, what in the heck does this have to do with dating? It's completely relevant. When you are good at something, anything, you become more confident. When you improve yourself, and you are good at something, you carry that with you throughout the day. You begin to slowly love yourself more, and become more confident, and it shows. Not to mention it's a good conversation starter. Which brings me to the next step, conversation!

Conversation Fuel.
In order to have conversations with others, you have to have something to talk about. Take some time to think about something you're really interested, and learn something about it. Go down to the library or hit the internet and pick up a few things about it when you're bored. Become an "expert" on something and talk about it. Everyone is impressed by knowledge. You don't have to be an acedemic to be able to hold a conversation about a subject.
Also, subscribe to the newspaper,and read about current events. Newspapers are varied enough that there has to be something of interest in there for you. This gives you something to talk about at parties and social events. Again it doesn't take much to hold a conversation.
When engaged in conversation, become interested in the other person. Really listen to what they have to say. Everyone loves talking about themselves. Use their name frequently also, nothing sounds sweeter to someone than their own name. Becoming a better conversationalist will build your confidence.

Ok, you knew this one was coming. Looks aren't everything, but they're a great asset to have. We can't all be movie star hot, but there are things anyone can do to make themselves hotter. The first thing:

Smile. You never can smile too much. Smiling is contagious, and if you're always smiling, and the other person is smiling, it creates an instant bond, and a clear indicator that the date is going well. Smiling tends to affect your mood also, so smiling more just might make you happier.

Take care of yourself. This one is very important. Make sure your clothes are clean, you are showered and shaved, with brushed hair and teeth at all times. Sure, you might feel lazy in the morning and skip the shower, then run to the store really quick. But while you're out you will feel like everyone knows you didn't take a shower, and everyone knows you stink. You wouldn't go out on a date this way right?
Anytime you are showered, clean with brushed teeth and good breath your confidence is higher. And thats what we're shooting for.

Excersize. Did you know that just by simply taking a walk every day, you can lose as much weight as someone who runs a few times a week? It's true, by elevating your heart rate and working your muscles you are burning calories. And doing it every day improves your metabolism. Losing a few pounds always adds to your confidence level.

Try new styles. Try doing your hair different, or dressing a little different, and see the response. A new look is a great way to build up your confidence, especially if it really works for you. Don't be afraid to try new things.

In the end, what really matters overall is what you think of yourself. Learn to love yourself. This doesn't mean you should turn into an egomaniac, it just means you like who you are, and are ok with yourself. This goes a very long way towards building your own confidence. And when you're confident, you're sexy. This will help you attract more people than you ever imagined.




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© Melt Magazine 2008