Greg and Andrea James

Dear He/She: I have a serious problem. My husband told me that he’s buying
the kids a dog for the holidays. I’ve always said no pets in the house, because I’m allergic, and because I’m the one who has to clean the messes and vacuum the hair. What should I do? – Reaching for the Allergy Medicine in Memphis.

He: So what’s the problem, that you don’t want to be the bad guy, or that you and your husband can’t agree on how to run the family? I can’t say if you should have a dog or not, because it really depends on how old your kids are. If they’re old enough to take care of a dog properly, and they really want one, then I say get some allergy shots and let them have it. If the children are small and the burden falls on you, tell everyone no way. They’ll be upset, but they’ll get over it.

She: Before you get a dog, you might want to get a marriage counselor. What kind of husband goes out and makes a serious family decision without consulting anyone? I think he’s trying to be the hero of the family, at your expense.

Dear He/She: My husband wants to move, so that he can be closer to his job (he has a 70 minute commute right now), and also so that we can have a bigger house. Money isn’t the problem, because he does really well, but I like where we live, and I’m the one who stays home and takes care of the house. I don’t want more work during the day. What can I do? - Wants to Say Put in Pasadena.

He: So, you’d rather he drive 70 minutes twice a day so that you don’t have to vacuum a couple of extra rooms? That sounds selfish to me. From the way you talk, I’m guessing you don’t have children, so I think you ought to rethink what’s important in life, his safety or your easy routine.

She: Any time a couple moves it needs to be a joint decision. If you can’t both agree, then don’t move. But try to find other options to help your husband, like maybe getting him into a car pool so he doesn’t have to do the driving every day, or look into mass transit.

Dear He/She: I’ve been dating a guy for three years. Everything is great, except that he still lives at home with his parents. Since he’s thirty-six, this seems a little odd to me. Plus he really enjoys spending time with them, like on weekends when we could be out with our friends. The only time we have to ourselves be when he comes to my apartment, and even then he won’t spend the night. What can I do? – Dating a Homebody in Dallas

He: Uh, the first thing I have to ask is ‘are you sure he’s straight?’ Unless he’s living at home to save money for a house, you’ve probably got a real problem guy on your hands. He might be in the closet, or he might be a momma’s boy, but he’s definitely not changing for you anytime soon. It might be time to start seeing other people.

She: It all comes down to one question: Are you happy? If not, it’s time to move on. If you are, and you think you can deal with his stay-at-home habits, then stick around. But let him know that if he’s not willing to compromise and go out sometimes, you’ll go out without him. Then arrange a night out with the girls.