A.M. McKain

Frugality is not an attractive word. It sounds like a hybrid of "frump" and "legality," like a distasteful old aunt who admonishes us to live in a dreary state of barest subsistence. If you can get past her unprepossessing appearance, however Frugality can be a Goddess of Abundance. Think of rosebushes: a good gardener cuts them back regularly and with care, creating form and beauty, healthy canes and renewed vigor. An unpruned rosebush becomes a tangle, cheating itself of air and light, prone to disease and producing smaller blooms. Cutting back in certain areas of your life, with thought and precision, can allow you to flourish as you never have before.

Getting Started:
Winter is the best time for pruning roses, while the canes are dormant. The New Year is also our time for resolutions, a time for cutting back unhelpful life patterns and allowing wholesome new ones to develop. January is named for the god Janus, who looks with one face to the future and one to the past. Take this opportunity, as you stand at the threshold, to look back at the past year and then to the unwritten days ahead; ready yourself to inscribe the fresh pages with the flourishes that record a the a life lived to the fullest.

Money Matters:
Many of us overindulge during the holidays, and that generally includes overspending. Your bank statement or credit card statement may send you into shock. Cutting back on your expenses for a while can help pay off that holiday debt, and can also enhance the quality of your life. How? We’ll get to that. First, you need to start keeping tabs on what you spend. For one month, take a little notebook with you and write down every purchase. Everything: include bills paid, and that non-fat gingerbread latte. I had a CPA tell me with great authority that fixed expenses only significant component of a household budget: car payments, rent, and so on. Who am I to argue with a CPA? Secretly, though, I knew that dinners and cocktails out on the town, plus impulsive shoe purchases were responsible for my deficit. Carrying the little log around proved this to be true, and I was also surprised how much money I was spending on snacks and lunches during the workday. Once you’ve identified your own Achilles heel, make an effort to curb it. Packing lunches and snacks will probably be more nutritious and can save quite a bit of money, so treat yourself to a fun lunchbox. Instead of going out to the movies, rent a DVD and make your own popcorn. Do you really need that purse, those concert tickets, the Vegas weekend? Take a walk through your neighborhood, take a run through the park, take a hike up your hill. Take a sketch pad and pencils and try drawing what you see. Take stock of all the good things in your life and ask yourself: how much more do I really need to be content? Take a trip to an orphanage or a soup kitchen, for perspective. Volunteer. Forget yourself for a while, and spend your energy and love helping others, rather than spending cash on things to fill your house.


Circle of Friends:
It’s good to give of yourself, but you shouldn’t give to the point of exhaustion. There are those who return your attention with equal generosity, those friends you can count on always. There are those who may not have the strength or resources to give much back, but who deeply need and appreciate your help. Then there are those bottomless pits of need, individuals who drain you with every conversation. Do you have some of those? Do they ever call to see how you are, or only when they need something, perhaps an audience for the latest self-generated crisis? Consider pruning out some relationships which are sucking the vitality out of your life. Dead and diseased canes have to be removed from a rose bush, or the entire plant will lose vigor, attract pests, and fail to bloom well. Don’t let this happen to you. It may be time to make some judicious cuts in your social circle. Think about the people you are in touch with regularly. Do those connections bring you joy? If not, why are you maintaining them? Think about the people who have known whose names bring a smile to your face. Are there people you have loved immediately, fully? Are there those with whom you have felt most yourself, totally at ease? Have you been in touch with them lately? If not, look them up. Send an e-mail, or a letter, or pick up the phone. Try to bring more of those solid, enriching relationships into your daily life. Allow the unwholesome acquaintances dwindle away, unfed, and nurture instead relationships with people you admire.


Stuff and Nonsense:
We have too much stuff, all of us; we own far more than is sensible. We may think we want a new sports car, or toaster, or Gucci bag, or Chia pet, but we truly have too many items, not too few. Clutter takes up your time and space, and encroaches on your peace of mind. You are not the same person you were seven years ago; every cell in your body has been replaced. You undoubtedly have things in your possession that belonged to that old self and are no longer relevant. Start getting rid of them. Today’s conventional rule is to toss out or give away anything you haven’t used in the last six months. That doesn’t always make sense. In August, should you throw out your snowboard? Of course not. Try instead the aesthetic principle of Pre-Raphaelite artist William Morris:

"If you want a golden rule that will fit everybody, this is it: Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful."

Face reality: if the garden gnome is neither useful nor beautiful, let it go. Someone else may find it useful or believe it to be beautiful. If you do not have the stamina for a yard sale, pick up the phone and call a charity, one that will send a truck to your house. When they ask what you are donating, say “clothing and household goods,” and give them a specific number or bags or boxes. I like five. You may choose more or fewer, depending on your accumulation problem. They will give you a date. Mark your calendar. You are now obligated to fill those bags by that date and set them out for pick-up. The benefits: room to breathe in your home, freedom from old associations (the sweater your ex-boyfriend gave you), and the satisfaction of giving to a good cause.

Take stock of your how you have been spending yourself: your time, your income, your attention. These are precious resources, not to be squandered. Cutting back on inessentials will help the truly important branches of your life to grow and flourish. A little judicious pruning will allow you to reap benefits of time, space and contentment throughout the year to come, as you cultivate your own talents and appreciate simple joys.


   



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© Melt Magazine 2005